Let There Be Floodlights

So let there be floodlights floating out upon the lawn to

drive out the darkness from that halogen dawn

now glistening on the dew—

While I spent those seconds listening to the whistling

of her backyard wind in prayer,

Jay ran out to rope my ear and strain my squint

into the dusk dodging her porch shadows

with a hunter’s sprint.

But that girl always ends up blinking my sight like that

in her radioactive path for a spell just to spatter it

in her spectrum stop bath—

yet still she soaks Earth into focus for my eyes to see

her waking as I would in sleep

and seeds my brain’s subsoil tares and roots

that once broke her dirty Eden’s skin to

bear our living fruits.

See we grew up down the street and played our games

of tag, of hide and seek, of “catch me if you can”

as we grew into our snag.

We used to ride our bikes and take our hikes when she

was adventurous, a tomboy mad,

who had her own way of making me feel glad

when I was just a sad boy abused and lonely

and she was all I had.

I remember in the backyard where we built our forts

and scampered in the grass and where we

cut our feet upon the glass

back as kids when she tumbled and stomped to death

beneath the sandals she once wore

the fault of my green army man's concrete war

of sticks and stones I liked to burn that

turned my girl to salt. 

But we let go of paradise for the big You-Guessed-It

the day my teeth sunk in her skin in heat for

power in place of peace,

when she tricked me by her truth to reign herself instead

so I'd be cursed to crawl the dust.

And so I spent my life wandering in the mud

and wading in the crud of my lust to

be rescued in her flood.

So after we did it we fled to the house when called in

to where she lives leased to someone else now,

raising fathers to our son—

It's there her dad showed me how to live to face the one

who could promise her a home,

back when my friends and I would fight

and tramp upon our homemade skate ramps

until off went her light.

And so I walked the whole way back this darkening day

and watched the lights go rising on the hills to stay

lit upon the horizon line—

those streetlights throwing halos on the open roads

remind me of the bygone times

I used to rule these streets before the kid

and before I forced myself to be sorry for

the fucked up shit I did.

So now I'm on her porch, just four summers contrite,

at her front screen door confessional

just trying to make it right.

I hear the product of our love just playing in the light

out back and laughing with my Jay

in the wind chime spring and just in time

for the evening sky to bring in night so I

can see her like it's day.

So let there be light, we used to say

when we had our day of sun.

But when it goes, old couples chide,

Where do we buy lights?

NEXT

--Poems from the Sprawl